Petty Business Politics.

What a week this has been so far! I am truly learning how to play business politics with this job. I was in a meeting the other day where I became rather assertive and somewhat aggressive. Others were talking about an idea or plan that was tried last year that failed. I point this out and they keep pushing the point. The immediate instinct I have to stand my ground and become very intense came out. And because of that people think I am cold and hard. I can't help but think if I were a man I wouldn't have this issue. I don't want to go on about feminism and equal rights, but why do people see me as a cold heartless person because I refuse to show emotion in a meeting. And why can't some people handle being told they're wrong. I'm learning how to play up an ego that needs to be nurtured. If this ego is not nurtured then I end up receiving attacks on my ego. My mother is a lawyer who has always been able to put aside her emotions and remain completely professional. She is respected by fellow collegues because of this, but for some reason it's not appreciated in my line of work. I feel as though I need to be the 'girl', who stays quiet, is aggreable, not pushy, and cute. I can't be that person. It's not in me. Yes, I will let my excitement come through, I will take pride in my accomplishments and my passions, but I'm not going to be weak and back down from a point that has already been proven just so someone can feel good.
And so begins the never ending game of business politics...playing up egos, guarding yourself, not talking about other people in a negative way, and letting the gossip go in one ear and out the other. The roughest part about this week is feeling of being played. I fear that a few of my close collegues are playing me. Not cool. But I will go on and disregard it because all that matters is that I get the job done and I do it right. And if I don't do it right then I learn from my mistakes.